Why we need to be talking about the perimenopause
I distinctly remember my Mum going through a ‘change’ in her forties and never quite understanding what this was all about. She seemed anxious, quick to anger, had rapid mood swings and a sudden lack of self-confidence. She complained of insomnia, vertigo, brain fog and of just not feeling like herself. She gained a bit of weight, mostly around her middle, despite a healthy diet and regular workout routine and suffered from embarrassing, and hard to manage, menstrual flooding. These issues fluctuated from day to day and week to week. I could see that she was struggling but had no idea why and she kept pretty quiet about it, demonstrating a, typically female, stiff upper lip about her physical and emotional health.
Fast forward to my days in clinical practice and a whole host of forty something year old women were struggling with similar problems. They were changing. They were changing in ways that no one had talked about or prepared them for. And they were also struggling. Some put it down to stress and their age, but they were actually fighting another beast — perimenopause.
As I reflected on this group of women and what they were facing, it dawned on me that we spend a lot of time preparing our kids for adolescence, particularly our girls, but where is a version of the ‘talk’ about what happens once we hit our forties? And for some unlucky ones, our thirties? Because like it or not, our bodies change in ways that are both uncomfortable, foreign and just plain weird. In a nutshell, as women we get hit with another kind of puberty, the several years in which our bodies change and our hormones go crazy, before we reach menopause.
Now this topic is so taboo that you may have never heard of this word before. My automated spelling corrector is telling me “no guesses found”! It says a lot if my Mac doesn’t even know what I’m talking about!!! So, you can imagine how scary this time is for so many women when it’s a phase of life that is seemingly unheard of, yet something all women must go through. To be honest, I hadn’t heard the phrase until I was studying at university.
What is it?
To help clarify for you, the Mayo Clinic defines it as “the menopause transition”. What does that even mean? It’s a stage where our bodies slowly progress towards menopause. Where the level of estrogen (the female hormone) rises and falls unevenly. Where menstrual cycles may lengthen or shorten. Where you may experience physical issues such as, random acne, skin tags, the odd chin hair (yay!), sleep disturbances, weight gain, migraines, uterine bleeding, vaginal dryness, decreased bone density, changes in your sex drive, changing cholesterol levels and the trademark of menopause - hot flushes!!
Let’s not forget the fun emotional changes you might experience - the mood swings, the change in your identity as a female, in how you see yourself, and how you may see yourself differently as your hormones rise and fall. It sounds like so much fun doesn’t it? And these symptoms, they come in waves and, for some women, last up to TEN YEARS!!! The average is four to six years and best case scenario is a year, but some women suffer for ten years before they hit the next stop, menopause (clinically this is defined as having had no periods for a year and is actually when the nastiest perimenopausal symptoms cease). As I write this as a thirty something year old, I’m not going to lie, I am slightly terrified.
So why aren’t we talking about it? Why aren’t we preparing ourselves for this marathon of a journey of physical and emotional challenges? Why aren’t we educating women, hold that, everyone, men should know all about this too, about what this life stage entails and what help is available to get them through it?
I’m really hoping this is something that will change. That this little blog might open things up and help people learn more about it. And they might share that knowledge. Because that’s how it starts. A conversation. And this ‘talk’ is so desperately needed. At the moment, even in these times of oversharing and liberation, we are all sitting in the dark about a key stage in every woman’s life.
What to do?
1| Talk to your doctor
I’m not a doctor, but my first suggestion would be, seek medical advice if you’re struggling or even just to get a better idea of what could be in store for you. It’s always worthwhile and there are hormonal therapies (bio identical as well as chemical) that can help you manage those trickier symptoms.
2| Talk about it
Talk to your friends, your Mum, sister, colleagues. Talk to other women about their experiences and what was helpful for them. There is NO shame in this. It is a completely natural, normal phase of life that all women (unfortunately) have to venture through. So, get your female buddies around you so you can march through the muddy waters together. Better still discuss it younger women that you know, your daughters and your sons, with male friends, colleagues and your partner. Let’s lift the lid on this secret so that it won’t be such a scary shock for generations to come.
3| Exercise
Research tells us that active women have fewer and less distressing perimenopausal symptoms. Try scheduling in some form of regular movement to help you keep on top of those pesky symptoms.
4| Manage your stress
Stress can fuel these symptoms, so helping to alleviate stress can make it easier to cope. Remember, be gentle with you. This stage of life can be extremely challenging. See our free eBook on ‘The 7 Antidotes to Stress’ to help you manage these turbulent times.