‘Guilty’ Pleasures - why we should be embracing them and letting go of the guilt

I don’t know about you, but much to my husband’s displeasure, I love those TV shows. You know the ones, the shows that you know are corny, but you love watching them anyway. And if I’m honest, I often watch them multiple times. They’re right there, when you turn on your TV, waiting for you to sheepishly enjoy. There are also the trashy but super easy to read, airport novels - books that you know are terribly written and that most self-respecting feminists would hate you to even glance at, let alone buy and devour in one sitting! These books and shows, the glossy (or gossipy) magazine that you sneak into your shopping trolley and pretend you only read because you were at the hairdresser – these are our guilty pleasures. They’ve even been coined the ‘junk food’ of our media diets. Here’s the question though - if we enjoy them, then why should we feel guilty about it? Particularly if our consumption is in moderation?

Dr Kristin Neff from the University of Texas has commented on just this.  She explained that “when we rest, we think we’re supposed to use that time productively with problem solving”.  Now this might be helpful in some areas, but it doesn’t do much for cultivating happiness.  I also think this speaks more to a movement where being ‘busy’ all the time is glorified.  It’s expected and it’s celebrated, particularly on social media.  And how does that then shape our feelings around enjoying a TV show that might not be that intellectual or stimulating or contributing to our learning in some way.  It leaves us feeling as though we are wasting time and we sadly berate ourselves for enjoying trivial pursuits. 

The thing is, if we enjoy these activities, could it actually be good for us?

In my opinion, as a clinician, the answer is a resounding YES!

Taking a break and enjoying something that doesn’t require an intellectual focus and allows us the space to quieten our mind and allow it to zone out of problem-solving mode is actually really important.  Professor Rabi from the University of Santa Barbara reports that by engaging in this down time we can actually “improve our ability to productively deal with stressors and help us engage more positively with other people”. 

I don’t know about you, but for me, this is vital.  I look forward to the time and space where I can watch something for pure enjoyment - something that doesn’t require me to think. After long days in the office, it’s exactly what the doctor ordered. 

So, if that’s the case, then why the guilt?

It all comes down to what it says about us.  A guilty pleasure, in its essence, is something that we enjoy but we know we’re not supposed to or, maybe that we feel that engaging with it says something negative about us.  For example, it would sound silly to apologize for watching the AFL Grand Final right? That definitely wouldn’t happen in our house! If we admit to watching The Bachelor though, we start with an apology- “I know it’s awful, but I can’t help but watch it.”  We unnecessarily worry that we might be seen as less intelligent, capable or successful if we spend our spare time watching or reading something ‘low brow’.

Part of this is about unpacking what types of entertainment seem to escape the ‘guilty’ pleasure label and why, but in reality, are they not the same? Why is acceptable to consume sports, constantly, and not a trashy TV show? Particularly a whole day or days of cricket? To me, it tells of pigeon holing and of the categories that we place people into and the social value that is placed on these groupings. 

What can you do?

Well I would love to see you eliminate the phrase ‘guilty pleasure’ out of your vocab.  This is a shift in seeing who pleasure is for and who deserves to have the time to pursue it.  So let’s embrace the time that we set aside for ourselves, the necessary down time that most of us so desperately need.  And let’s enjoy it.  Without the guilt.  Because at its core, it’s a stress reliever and these days, we all need a dose of that!

Need more, read our free eBook, ‘The 7 Antidotes to Stress’.